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Recipe For Ecstasy

Correct me if I’m wrong (please correct me) but humanity seems to have forgotten the importance of prioritising their happiness. All I ever see is people falling into this typical 9-5 job (Just. Over. Broke) bullshit just to stay afloat, giving away their time and energy to a programmed monetary supply that isn’t even breaking even, let along supporting exactly what they deserve?  But we grasp with rope burnt hands onto every opportunity to get as “chockas” as we can on the weekends. Only we arrive back on Monday to rinse and repeat (some without even rinsing). I understand it’s the easy/ only way out, to have ‘fun’, to socialise and maintain your so-called sanity. But through this ‘boxed’ idea of what our life is and should be, we’ve become numb to the true reason we’re here – and my personal belief is that that reason is for us to have some fun, bitch. But real fun, real true experiences that flare a level of happiness that makes your toes curl, your hidden goose bumps rise and unacknowledged tears to erupt, due to a temporary moment of disbelief that something could be so euphorically beautiful, amusing or stimulating.

How many times have you experienced ecstasy. No not the drug, silly duffer, but the meaning behind the name of the drug?

ec·sta·sy
(ĕk′stə-sē)
pl.ec·sta·sies
1. Intense joy or delight.
2. A state of emotion so intense that one is carried beyond rational thought and self-control.
3. The trance, frenzy, or rapture associated with mystic or prophetic exaltation.
4. Often Ecstasy Slang MDMA.

I must say, I think I have the upper hand with consistency of pleasantries that I’m presented with. But my muscles of perspective have grown strong over the past few years, to the point where any positive or negative instance that occurs towards me or towards others; I see my option to choose to appreciate it.

I like to think of it as earning points in the Game of Life, and our prize for passing that check point of detachment is this reward of perspective awareness. I think maybe once we understand that true feeling of gratitude when presented with an experience to evaluate and disregard or appreciate, you will be presented with continuous experiences in which we are given to learn from. The situations you are given may not all be good, but if you can observe your life from a distance and gather the lessons and wisdom you are given through that hardship, you will be rewarded. Richly rewarded.

This is where it becomes your choice to what road you want to walk. Kind of like that scene in The Simpsons, where Homer is confronted with his options of floating down the treacherous, terrifying river or the one flooded with rainbows and flowers and unicorns. I mean, majority of us would choose the unicorns, right? Wrong. Most choose the dark river because it’s what our system has weaved us to believe it’s all we deserve, endure, and survive through. Life isn’t even about living any more it’s all just survival and fear of death. Although we’re simultaneously, subconsciously waiting to die, to get that ‘big break’ of enjoyment and relaxation when we get to heaven. I know you are wondering “where’s my big break? / Do I get a big break?” or even “Am I fucking crazy for wanting more out of what I’m told is the way of life?”.
I also understand it’s hard when we feel like don’t have an option, without this tool that was created – money.

But suppose we could eliminate the funds from the fun. Say we took the time out of our day to appreciate what we do have, whether it be great uplifting friends or that you live five minutes from the beach or complimenting someone else’s confidence and achievements. Your appreciation holds the ability to stimulate the creation, and that is where the fun comes into play.
It’s where ‘what do I have?’ meets ‘I love everything I allow for myself’ which starts ‘I know what I deserve’ and creates the cycle of ‘what else can I do now that will make my heart even happier?’.
The recipe for ecstasy my fellow humans!!!

I had my first confirmation in fact, on New Year’s morning 2017, when I was thrown a scene of complete bliss. I may or may not have been under the influence along with every other person on the planet. But I can tell you this, when I saw my gorgeous friends sitting in the long flowery grass, surrounded by chirping creatures and swirly pre-climbed trees combined with a front seat, five-star view of the first rising sun of the year over a crystal-clear ocean, it would have been offensive if I have turned my eye. To neglect the perfection was literally impossible. So, I walked down to the clearest blue water to use my limited time to give gratitude, only to see the prettiest little jellyfish I ever did see (obvs this sent me over the emotional edge) and then A FUCKING BABY STRINGRAY just playing in the water alone. By this point I was unable to comprehend why I was so lucky to have the most perfect moment all to myself.  Which is where I ‘declared’ myself as a surrealist in ecstasy.
Some might say I’m ‘a little bitch’ for crying over a sunset or screaming when my favourite four seconds of a song comes on. But I honestly couldn’t disagree more (neutralising their opinion of me), as my eyes are my own and I’m going to choose to disregard any eyes that don’t agree with positivity. It’s not my fault that pessimism is their preference. Nor will I let it be my problem that they won’t allow their eyes to see real beauty or experience the ecstasy that appears only a forward step away.

Why don’t we step out of the illusion of realism and lack, and step into our authentic magical feet where the surreal opportunities lay. Because it’s time we take back the natural given rights that have been taken away from us through media and political distraction. We must find the ecstasy that’s rightfully ours.
We are all surrealists at heart and we all deserve to float in our own hole-less dingy down the unicorn stream heading towards our big break.
See you there x x

Ruby

Feeling Yourself

It is one of my greatest pleasures to see that ‘feeling yourself’ is rocketing as a trend, opening the eyes of men and ladies this year. Not only is it allowing us youth to step into our confident selves but it’s coherently imprinting encouragement and appreciation of others excelling, unconditionally within us. Although I recognise that social media’s standards have not yet been perfected, the turning of blind eyes to the growth in our positivity (in my opinion) is a complete waste of time and frankly, quite ignorant.

The importance of remaining positive with one another, while disregarding their environment or uncontrollable variables that impact their appearance or mannerisms, are as high as it’s ever been on our Earth. When politics, our environment, segregation and competition continue for a short while in the Human Race, we need to stand our grounds and remain true to the truest form and creation that we are; Love.

With majority of the population continuously infatuated in our social devices, it’s so so so easy to let ourselves slip into the ‘guidelines’ of how we must act, look, and even feel towards certain trends and topics. We are so easily swayed into this category of what’s fashionable, limiting our creative individuality and even our subconscious longing to be different. And when we honestly reflect on ourselves and what we’re accomplishing individually, how many of us can, not just say, but truly feel satisfied with the person they have crafted themselves to be?

In saying this, I’d like to now take this time to openly recognise that I was victim in all of this nonsense. It was only 2 months ago that my entire perspective on the way I was choosing to live, changed and reversed.

I realised that I was WILLNGLY allowing social media have such a large impact on how I felt about myself, and for what? I WILLINGLY allowed this trend of ‘false’ confidence to literally eat me away.

Prior to this mental transformation I came to understand that weight and physicality is a direct reflection of the view you have of yourself. As soon as I accepted my ‘puppy fat’ and ability to catch my stir-fry between my thighs – The weight I hated prior, immediately dropped and I was ‘feeling myself’ to the max, helping me to detach from others opinions. Little did I think it would lure me again into a search for validation, leading to further weight dropping (keeping in mind, I’ve never been a slim build) to an alarmingly unhealthy level. In fact, it took a screaming lecture from my Mum when she could ‘feel my ribs’ when seeing me the first time in three weeks and force feeding me back to my healthy organic state. I began to question whether feeling malnourished was worth the body I was in. Absolutely FUCKING NOT. (Excuse the language) but there is not a shit-show in hell that I will give away my physical and mental health in exchange to maintain a sturdy social media reputation that in the end, is all temporary.

Which brings me onto my next point…

The realisation that no matter how much weight you lose, no matter how great you become at blending your contour or ‘fleeking’ your liner… no one actually cares.

There’s a large difference between being liked and being respected. It takes two seconds for a subject of social media or 100 subjects say, to press a like button giving your ego a sense of validation. After that two seconds of admiration has passed, the subjects mind will trail on to what they’re having for dinner or their plans for the day, or even worse – What they can change about themselves to receive that same 2 second validation. Thus creating a never ending cycle of our search for validation and admiration that not only increases your ego, but has detrimental effects on the receivers end.

So, where is the search for respect for just being you. When there are already thousands of Kylie Jenners’ infesting Instagram, why is this lifestyle become the new age desire? Since when did it become more important to be another clone with high cheekbones, when you hold so much of your own amazing worth just by waking up in the morning?

When you do a little research, whether it be via the internet or observing the humans in town, I can guarantee the ones who gain the most respect are the ones who aren’t afraid to be wholey themselves, who ignore the standards and vibrate on their own level of expression.
Not that it’s the respect of others that you need, it’s only yourself. Because I promise you’re the only one who matters, and damn I feel you.

After all, validation serving our ego is temporary and so is our youth.

Ruby xx

“beauty” is flawed, beauty is flaws

Sorry for my absence, I have been overseas. I usually return home feeling pretty low, sombre that my adventures have concluded and the fact that I’m back in my small little town. But this time, something made me reflect on myself.

Now I’m home and feeling more empowered than ever.

I was in the airport, waiting for my plane to be called when I decided that I would probably be bored and uninterested by the generic movie selection on the flight and so it would make sense to spend my last few coins on something to read. I glossed over several Cosmopolitan and Woman’s Weekly covers, which all claimed to either hold all the best sex tips or recipes to make the best winter casseroles. Yeah, yawn.

My eyes fell on an issue of Yen, a magazine that I am plenty familiar with but this time, it caught my eye for an entirely different reason. The cover girl, actress/director/fashionista Chloë Sevigny, looked beautiful. A different kind of beautiful, however, to the groomed and glamourised Kardashian-esque models that posed half naked on the several other covers. Her nose was not chiseled and prosthetically perfected, her lips were not alarmingly plumped and she wasn’t wearing next to nothing in order to sell her sexualised soul. Instead she looked real. I love her work, her words in issue 84 and everything she stands for. Chloe Sevigny has been in the spotlight for years, and despite having cameras and criticism coming at her from every angle, she has remained real, raw and beautiful.

Looking back on my trip I now realise that I spent far too much time wistfully watching girls strut past the cafes that I sat in, wishing that my legs were as thin as theirs, that my boobs would double in size and that my hair could be more silky and less scruffy and spaniel-looking. I sat with my younger sister at restaurant tables and each night we would pick out and complain to each other about all of our flaws and how many things each of us would change if we were able to. The fact that my sister is fourteen and already thinks she needs a nose job is truly, utterly messed up. Body image and self-consciousness is the most superficial but surreal thing both woman and men face in today’s society. And while racism, gender issue and world peace are still of primary importance, this is something that affects us all, so let’s talk about it. Let’s clear it up.

As soon as I stepped off the plane and arrived home, I knew I had been hit by a curveball. A f*cking huge one. I got home and began to unfollow everyone on Instagram that epitomised “beauty” in the media’s eyes. Out with the Kardashian’s, fake chested bikini models and anyone else who’s images no longer empowered me. I needed a break from everything that social media and celebrities force feed me through my screen. Social media is crazy, incredible and so, so powerful, yet so toxic at the same time. Ever since I entered my teenage years, all angsty and unsure of who I was, I have been fed a constant stream of Victoria Secret models, celebrities and their lavish lifestyles and anyone else who embodied what the media sold as “true beauty”.

It is terrifying that the media has the ability to broadcast the ideals of beauty, body image and lifestyle before we have even been able to figure ourselves out yet. We, as young adolescents are so vulnerable and easily blinded to this messed up propaganda blaring from our screens, that we grow up thinking that beauty and perfection is only obtained by encompassing certain physical, superficial traits.

Myself and so many other adolescents have had their teenagers years darkened by having what little self-confidence that once bestowed inside us stolen, trampled on and never returned – simply because we are rejects of what society labels as “perfect”. I was stupid enough, or maybe even just young and vulnerable enough to let that consume me. I have been so, scarily self-scrutinising of who I am and how I look for so long that I feel a sense of bereavement that I never was and will never be a happy-go-lucky, confident teenager who loved and accepted who they were. Instead I would stand in the mirror and ponder over everything I hated, my frizzy hair, barely existent upper lip, uneven skin tone, shoulders as wide as Australia, lack of hips..the list goes on. It shouldn’t. I shouldn’t have wasted so many golden, carefree years hating myself. Do we want ourselves, our sisters, our friends, our future daughters to grow up like this? Who is telling me that I am not curvy enough? Not skinny enough? Not good enough? We can blame it on the media, and it’s heavily fabricated content that it encompasses, but far too much of these poisonous thoughts are generated from our very own minds.

That’s where we start. That’s where we finish.

“Beauty” is flawed, because beauty is flaws.

No one else has broad shoulders exactly like mine, or a strong nose like Chloë. No one else has eyebrows like you do or a jawline like your friend has.

Who decides what is beautiful? We do. We need to take back that power and use it to empower. Empower others to love and accept themselves.

“Admire someone else’s beauty without questioning your own.”

I have known this quote for years, but only now will I live by it. She may have enthralling and alluring turquoise eyes, but who said yours were just brown and lifeless? They could be deep hues of the finest cocoa or contain a sprinkle of bark from a huge wood of noble oak trees.

It’s all inside our head. The choice is yours.

Chose to be happy, chose to embrace, chose to be real.

And that way, you’ll always be beautiful.

 

p.s

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This is the issue that provoked my crazy little epiphany.

It’s in stores now, just look for the beautiful girl on the cover.

Xx

if they rain on your parade, shine on their’s

I hate to post negative stuff, but I need to vent. Forgive me.
I have hit breaking point with with the small-minded city I live in, filled with boring clones with catty and ignorant opinions. I need to rant about this. I am so over b*tches and the general negativity they bring.

I am ready to elope and live an authentic, crazy life with no fear of judgement or suppression.

So why do we allow people to belittle us, degrade us, walk all over us? I can’t believe how much of a pushover I once let myself become, it is frustrating even thinking about what I’ve put up with in my teenage years alone. I’m not here to cause conflict, but now that I’ve figured myself out, I am the most determined and strong-willed than I have ever been.

Firstly, this is a message to the b*tches. I have pushed away a lot of people this year, lost old friends, and actually, I am glad of it. Screw all that toxic shit, I want to live purely. But to you, you judgemental, harsh and blinded few, go find yourself. Be yourself. Stop chasing other people’s dreams and celebrate and relish in who you are. Too often your unkindness stems from your own insecurities and uncertainty.

And then, to all the colourful, creative people who make this world that much more wild. Thank you for being the life and soul of society. Keep being authentic, kind and crazy. The world needs you – help it. When others rain on your parade, shine on their’s. Never, Ever, let anyone else’s opinion determine your self worth. You are as rad as you want to be.

Compassion is key. Love yourself. Love the world.

There is no place for unkindness here. Xx